As promised in my interview with Patti Digh, Studio Mailbox is hosting it's first ever ATCswap! Inspired by the essay "Dance in Your Car" from her book Life is a Verb, the first 37 people to send Studio Mailbox an ATC themed "Different" will receive one from me in return.
This is my way of working through a very hurtful experience that occurred to me in Switzerland. Before I get into it, please let me say that Switzerland is one of my most favorite places on earth. Just not this last visit, it nearly broke my heart.
Road maintenance created a detour of pedestrian traffic. The wide pavement narrowed and then funneled the people directly through a very fancy hotel cafe terrace.
While pushing my child's stroller in sweltering heat, two women were blatantly snickering at my disheveled state, so obviously amused at my appearance that even my husband who was walking behind me was horrified at their behavior. Usually, a person could shake it off thinking, "they probably weren't even talking about me" and give them the benefit of the doubt. But this wasn't the case. These women were very openly assessing and criticizing me.
In all fairness, I wasn't exactly on top of my fashion game. Despite having packed every possible combination of outfits for my child, I pretty much threw in a couple of wearable items for me. None of which were weather appropriate or coordinate-able. I'm an artist, I thought to myself, I don't have to match.
The only thing I had in the suitcase to handle the heat was a white sun dress. And oopsie I hadn't packed the smoothing-type nice undergarments a lady should wear beneath such a dress. I didn't have a lightweight sweater, or even a tank to layer with it. I was pretty much screwed on the fashion front and just decided that since my child flings food at every opportunity, it's probably likely that people will notice spots on a white dress instead of my flaws beneath it.
I was so tired from a day of day of walking around Zurich with a screaming toddler in a stroller, and had been on an upward slope for what felt like a mile. And then this happened. The detour. Through Cafe a'la Snob.
For the first hour I had decided that all Swiss women were evil bitches. Then as my hurt feelings settled down a bit, I realized that I didn't even know if these women were Swiss. So I decided that instead, all women who sit at fancy Hotel cafes in Switzerland are bitches.
Day two I got a better grip on the situation. It was still popping into my head, but only every 10 minutes instead of every five. I decided that these particular two women clearly were bitter barren monsters who have no concept of going anyplace with a child. Or maybe they're the kind of parents who have never have had contact with their children because their offspring are raised by nannies and then transferred to border schools. I started feeling sorry for them.
By day three, I realized I didn't know anything about those two women except that they were mean and not very discreet about it. It's possible that they're actually decent people, minus this one moment when my universe intercepted with theirs.
And then something occurred to me...I do it too. I do it all the time. Some of the witty lines I toss at my husband are, "Whoa honey... should we chip in and buy her a mirror?" Or the, "Raahhrr honey watch out, a tiger escaped from the zoo!" as a lady in an animal print outfit walks by.
So maybe this is all just a big case of Karma. Or maybe it's just a heightened awareness of how ruthless women, including myself can be. So now I'm catching it. I'm noticing when I say or think rude things when people are violating my former fashion or hygiene laws. I'm wondering why, including myself, do we like to be so mean? Wouldn't it be great to actually have compassionate responses to people dressing or behaving differently than we would?
Hopefully, you'll want to join in. By playing and sending Studio Mailbox mail-art, you agree to the possibility of me posting it on the blog!! In the event lots of people play, I can only trade with the first 37 and will announce it if we hit that point!
I am SO in on this!
Posted by: Linda | October 15, 2008 at 05:59 AM