So busy. Can't get it all done. Trying so hard but never catching up. If I actually do any artwork then I can never keep the blog going. If I blog intensely I never get off the computer. Running in circles. Manic. Panic.
Mailed off my sketchbook yesterday. Huge relief. Spend all evening on computer managing my account at the Artist Co-op and now today trying to learn how to upload images at Flikr. I don't feel like an artist. I feel like a file manager. I export the files to a smaller size. I put my name on them like a wolf peeing on the corner of her pictures. Then I ever so reluctantly upload them into the threatening and scary place that I've been resisting for so long: cyber airspace.
Despite really wanting to share my stuff, I'm nervous to put it out there. I wish I could send my data along with heavily armed, bad-ass soldiers complete with cigarettes dangling from their mouths. A couple of fighter jets flanking either side of each file would be a nice touch too.
My angst is not because I'm worried that people will think my work sucks. It's worse. I'm worried that people will think it's so great that they'll steal it.
Isn't that so lame? What a weenie. What an arrogant weenie. As if my comprehensive collection of German culture is so marvelous that desperate creatives are going to high-jack it and jump-start their own careers, all because they saw or took my images. And I will wind up laying around despondent in my home on a chaise lounger (empty wine bottle in hand) slurring bitter and sarcastic comments to my loved ones.
Jeez TJ, that is tragically sad.
Peeps, I need reassurance. Am I nuts? Do the rest of your worry about this crap? C'mon. You can tell me. Let's just talk about it.
Here's my Flikr photostream if anybody wants to have a lookie. I'd love some feedback 'cuz I've got not clue what I'm doing..
This is what it must feel to be a Hampelmann. Somebody else pulls the string and your arms and legs wave around. Existing in a constant state of response to other people's action. At the mercy of others at all times. Wondering if they'll pull so hard they'll snap the string off or yank until one of the limbs snaps.
I can really relate to trying to keep up with making art along with time at the computer working on blog posts and other social media stuff. UGH! It's really hard. I'm still trying to find balance there.
As far as fears of someone stealing my work, I do think about that, but it doesn't consume me...at least for now.
Posted by: Debbie | January 14, 2011 at 03:30 PM
Yep. Feel the same way- file mgr,artist, mom. And then the whole flickr thing too. But honestly, you have to think, right now is the best time to be an artist, to get your stuff out there and noticed EVERYWHERE!!! You are not alone :0)
Posted by: Deutschemexicana | January 14, 2011 at 03:41 PM
I feel the same way too!!!!!!!!!!!..........Even with my childrens story, thinking if I send to a publisher, they will just change it up a bit and use one of their writers on staff and just make it easier on them to use someone they already have, etc....BUT....what I have learned over the years of fear....is that...it has kept me from moving forward.....and also......(especially after doing flying lessons) There are so many artist out there that have a similar style as me............and then I see artists that put it out there and are successful (meaning that they are able to pay bills with their art) I look at their art and think, if that was my art, I wouldn't have thought it was ready, I would have kept working on it, etc....(the perfectionist in me) but it also, frees me up, seeing artists like sabrina ward harrison and kelly rae, give me permission that it doesnt have to be perfect...in my eyes anyway...........you are AWESOME....come visit Texas soon!!!! LOL....charla
Posted by: Charla Marion Pavlik | January 14, 2011 at 03:51 PM
I think we all feel that what if...Right there with ya my friend. :)
♥jenny
Posted by: Jenny Lee Wentworth | January 14, 2011 at 05:53 PM
Wow, you do really beautiful work. I so wish I was creative in an artistic way but I can't even draw stick people. :-) Yeah, sometimes I get freaked out about what I put out there online. Love your comment about "marking" your photos like a wolf. LOL.
Posted by: Jen | January 14, 2011 at 07:04 PM
My routine is to create during the day at the weekend and then to sit in front of the t.v. in the evening and do my showing off blog.
I never worry about people copying my stuff. Most of what I do is based on ideas or patterns from legitimate sources such as books or you tube videos. I don't mind if people copy what I do.
You have got to a place where you have your definitive style. Generally, I can look at your work and know it is yours. People may get ideas by looking at your creations but they will never be able to mimic "TJ". I don't have a style of my own yet.
Posted by: Julie Stenning | January 14, 2011 at 09:49 PM
Ok, I'm going to be completely honest with you here...that somebody else can be copying my work has occurred to me and I can honestly say that the idea's never bothered me, only because I think that although a style can be very, very similar to somebody else's, what you create is the true original that can never really be recreated by anyone else. I don't know if I'm being naive here but I honestly couldn't stop sharing my work because of this, screw the guys who have no imagination of their own and can only copy somebody else's work, I get the thrill from creating something new by myself every time and there's no substitute for that, the guys who can only copy other's work are just people who have no imagination of their own :)
Btw - I've tagged you in my last post, I hope you can join in :)
Posted by: Veronika | January 14, 2011 at 10:45 PM
I completely understand where you're coming from! Every time I upload any sort of photos of my work, I wonder whether I need to add a watermark as a safety precaution. Just found your blog, btw, and I'm quite enjoying it! You've got a great writing style!
http://www.walkingdotblog.com/
Posted by: Giedre | January 15, 2011 at 03:16 AM
Wow. I woke up totally overwhelmed and happy from your responses.
I'm not a freak!! My peeps say so!!
Thank you guys so much for taking the time to respond, and hope y'all have a very happy and creative weekend...
Posted by: TJ | January 15, 2011 at 11:16 AM
Haa I love this post! You made me giggle :) My friend...your book looks so beautiful! I love the sewn cover and your German theme is absolutely wonderful ♥
Posted by: Ivy | January 16, 2011 at 02:18 PM
I know what you mean in terms of never catching up. I think that's just life and we have to learn to let go and enjoy just going forward and going with the flow perhaps? Definitely something I have to learn! And I don't think it silly to worry about theft of art and photos... it happens so much online - especially - because it's easier! Of course, stealers and copycats will never have the satisfaction of truth and being proud of their work...
Posted by: linda | January 16, 2011 at 10:56 PM
I do mind the pictures of my photographs. The pictures of my artwork are always less than perfect...
It is great idea to stamp your name AND blogaddress on any picture that you upload to Flickr. Just great advertising when somebody else put these great images in their blog.
Posted by: Jacqueline | January 25, 2011 at 08:23 PM